We are a needy species. We want to be liked, nay, loved by all around us. The day we face reality is the day we accept that we are not everyone's cup of tea. The day we can be okay with that fact is the day we stop putting the burden of our emotional well-being on the shoulders of others.
The day we accept that even the best-made plans can go awry, when we can accept our powerlessness over the vagaries of this existence, that just might be the day we learn to ride the waves and rejoice in the little things. Case in point: With the help of some very generous friends, I was able to go visit my children for just a very short while. The day that was supposed to be our fun day was the day I was taken to the hospital with, well, very unpleasant gastric difficulties. We were able to be together but our quality time was messed with, very badly. Now, I am determined to find a way to make that trip again, and try, again, for the quality time, but I hold no unrealistic expectations.
Speaking of unrealistic expectations, why do I continue to buy a Lotto ticket? While I have spent years working just to survive, I have always held hopes of hitting some kind of jackpot...just enough so that I wouldn't have to worry about unexpected illnesses, broken water lines, car trouble, could help my kids when they needed it...you know...that kind of thing. Yes, I harbor fantasies of travel in comfort but that probably is not going to be my lot in life. Right now, we are just making it.
We are trying to sell some land we bought on an impulse and a hope and which we now wish we hadn't. We cannot use it the way we wanted to. It's a good 30+ miles from doctors, gas stations and shopping and is hard to reach if the roads are not scraped in the winter. It is my fantasy, but it is impractical and the money ran out before the dream could be realized. The proceeds from that sale would allow us some breathing room, but the area is in the center of the most depressed area of West Virginia. Forget the natural trout stream, the fresh water spring, the towering peaks at the back of the property, forget the beautiful trees and natural plants and the deer and other wildlife...people just flat can't afford it. So we have equity in our home and a paid-for 6.25 acres in the hills which makes us property poor.
Remember that thing about the best-laid plans? Well, ours have "aft gang agley" all over the place. I doubt we will ever be those gadabout retirees you see on TV, traveling the country in their luxury RV, with their Consumer Cellular phones (although we do have the phones and like them). I think a lot of us look for our ship to come in over the horizon with all sails full and flags flying..a mighty galleon of goodies. But maybe we need to look next to the dock. Our ship might be a little motor boat with room enough for two to go fishing.
I look at life now with an eye to what's the worst that could happen. Then I look at what we have already been through and survived and I figure whatever happens, I can take it. I will still fight to keep what we have worked for and earned (hands OFF our Social Security, you greedy politicos), but life could be a lot worse. We might not be able to travel the world, but we can go fishing.
You bring the tackle, Honey. I'll bring the bait.
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