The Hard Truth

My husband thinks I am a talented writer. Other family members and friends think I am talented in this regard. I have been called "eloquent" and "articulate." I sometimes wonder if those are just words to use to avoid saying "glib." I am finding that I am not getting much in the way of readership and no comments to speak of...a couple of nice people have put themselves out there to make a comment, but I don't have near the audience I had when I was banging the keys, posting about adoption angst.

It seems my own personal growth has made me less interesting. I know that a writer needs an audience and I either don't know how to generate one or I don't post things people want to read. I may not be "edgy" enough or friends from the adoption arena may be angry that I have moved away from the center of that cauldron of perceived trauma.

I don't want my blog to just be a journal of my take on any subject. I want it to be thought-provoking. I want to be one of those writers whose essays are linked by many and passed around like a particularly interesting rumor. My ego must be massive. Now THAT'S personal. I just want what I say to make a difference. Perhaps, I am looking for a legacy to leave since I sure won't be leaving any wealth behind.

A lot of folks might say I should go back to adoption separation as a theme but I have outgrown that one-issue thing. If I were to put it on a level of importance in my personal life, right now, it would be down the line a bit. I am more concerned about the threat to the separation of church and state in the United States than I am about something that happened to a lot of us women who grew up in the Baby Scoop Era and over which I had no control. The Original Birth Certificate of the adoptee is not my raison de vivre. I am more anxious about the preservation of Social Security and Medicare than I am about open records. I am tired of infighting about who has it worse, mothers or adoptees. We have bigger threats facing us.

So I have a choice. I can either be a whore and write what I think the people I know want to read (adoption, adoption, adoption), or I can continue to offer opinions on the things I regard as important. I probably also need to learn how to market what I write. I am a techno-challenged, older writer. I know how to link, how to upload and download and that is about it.

I have addressed current events. I have cleverly inserted pictures to go with the theme of the essay du jour. I have recommended this blog on Google and Facebook. I have a feeling that most folks that take the time to look give me a 'meh' as far as being able to hold their interest. Yeah, I am a bit discouraged but I will be back at it, one way or another, until I get it right. I am stubborn that way.

Right now, I am going to get some cheese to go with my whine. I haven't had breakfast.